here's a holiday classic...
Me and about ten other losers are standing in line at the flower shop. The sun is going down, and there's a feeling of desperation and impatience. We shuffle forward slowly in line. Why does this holiday always sneak up on us?
The owner's chihauhua trots out from behind the counter. He walks along the line of customers, giving each one a casual sniif. Eventualy he makes his way to the eight foot high pyramid a teddy bears in the corner. He bites one around the neck and drags it out to the center of the shop. We all watch in silence as he proceeds to hump the bejeezus out of the bear. Five minutes, ten minutes, time seems to slow as he goes to town on the stuffed animal. The store owner gets up with a grunt. Walks over to the dog... "Bad Pepe. A thousand times I tell you no!" she picks up the teddy bear, having to peel the dog off, and stuffs it back in the pyramid.
Some girl got the best Valentine's Day present ever.